Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is intended to slander, attack or otherwise besmirch the good names of any individual or organization mentioned or implied. These are simply my personal musings as I process an event that happened recently.
1. The old days
In October of 2013, the Federal Government had shut down. Government employees were furloughed and contractors either had to work for no pay or not work at all - for no pay. Unfortunately, I was a government contractor at the time.
Working at the Census Bureau was pretty cool. The people I met there were actually very interesting - diverse in every sense of the word. Some were real map nerds and worked on the Tiger map files. Others were numbers geeks and worked on analyzing the tons of data that came through the building constantly.
Me? I worked on the web stuff. We had a really good team and things were nice enough. Projects were getting done, upgrades to the tech stack were being made... slowly, but nonetheless. Sure, we were still using PHP4 when PHP5 had been out and stable. Who cares that we were using a version of jQuery that was at least a year out of date. No kidding, the stack was old and outdated, but we kept it going and were scoring little wins here and there. The future had hope at least.
Then... the shutdown happened. I found myself with nothing to do, no backup plan, no severance and very little hope that things would get back to normal.
2. The new days
Shortly after the shutdown, I get a call from my best friend. The start-up he's working at was looking for a web person. I told him, "It just so happens that I know a guy."
I applied, interviewed and got the job. It was a small drop in salary but that didn't really bother me much nor hurt me. It was exciting. I was getting to work on the hot, new tech stacks... NodeJS, Angular, NoSQL databases, and AWS... I felt like I had arrived at nerd nirvana. Best of all - no more business casual. I could wear jeans, shorts and t-shirts. This future really had hope and a comfy wardrobe.
Being part of a small start-up - around 25 people at the time - had some cool side benefits. You got to know everyone in the company really well and on much more than a surface level. They weren't just C-levels, managers, leads and co-workers. Most were truly friends. We'd hang out at the bar below the office regularly, snacking on really good BBQ and listening to local bands. We'd flock together to nearby restaurants for lunch. We'd commiserate together when one of us was experiencing a particularly rough life event. It sounds cliché but we really felt like a family.
After being with the company for a few years, we pivoted. Our business model had changed and with it so did our tech and tech needs. I found myself with a team. Sure it was only one other person, but it was the web team and I was the lead.
We were building internal tools, public sites and applications. We were building widgets that dropped into Wordpress. We were building a lot of web stuff and some days it felt like I was cramming some little nerdy-nugget of new wisdom into my head every 30 minutes. It was information overload and boy, what a rush that was.
After a few more years, things settled into a routine. We reduced the workload on the web team quite a bit. We were now primarily responsible for a few internal tools and a couple public facing apps. Also at this time, my team grew to be two developers and myself.
By March 2020, the company had grown to about twice the size it was when I joined, but we were still a very close-knit group. We had also moved office two times since I joined. The last place was measured in 5-digit square feet. Morale was up. The company was making some really cool products. We had some new regular lunch and happy hour options available. We even had people who were working 100% remote in other states. My team grew to include a designer and I was upgraded from Team Lead to Manager. Things were going really good. Then... Covid.
3. Change scene
Mandated office closings forced the entire company into an almost 100% remote work situation. We still had hot-seating available at the office for use when being on-site was necessary. We followed the social distancing rules when in the office. Mostly, we worked through email, Slack, Zoom and other collaborative tools.
This was a huge shift for many in the company. Of course the tech staff adjusted pretty smoothly, but that's to be expected. After all, for years we "lobbied" for more work-from-home days. We began exploring tools that would allow us to work remotely, even when we were in the office. We - the nerd contingent of the company - were prepared for just such an occasion as what happened because of Covid. Or were we?
Few of us would ever admit it, but switching to a 100% remote work situation after having developed the bonds we had took a bit of a toll on us. As far as how I felt? Well, I felt constantly chained to my desk at home, DoorDash and GrubHub wrecked my budgeting and I missed the stupid things we did in the office. Like the occasional Nerf gun battle, hijacking the conference room projector after work for a movie night, and actually hearing a friend's voice not filtered through microphones and so many digital conversions.
Yet, even with these changes we charged along. We worked on projects as they came in and attended all meetings either in person or over Zoom. We'd have our daily stand-ups and regular chats throughout the day. We'd even occasionally have a virtual happy hour. It wasn't the same, but it wasn't all horrible. I mean, my team added a slot for a developer and a tester who was occasionally on loan to us. My team was growing, the company was growing. We felt busier than ever. That's a good sign, right?
4. A new player has entered the game
Fast forward to the end of 2023. December 2023, an all-hands meeting was scheduled. This wasn't surprising. We'd have all-hands meetings routinely and one would regularly happen in December. What was surprising was the unfamiliar and unexpected attendees... and lack of attendance from some people we would have expected.
It seems that for at least the last half of 2023, our executives were meeting with the executives of another company. The nature of these gatherings, we would find out during this particular all-hands - a merger of the two companies. And prior to this all-hands, some people were let go at the very end of November. All this began to clearly explain the absent faces. Ruh roh, Raggy!
As many people who have been around the employment circus for a while will tell you, mergers are rarely just mergers. Some truly are just that - a simple merger. Like, two companies bringing together their respective chocolate and peanut butter to make something wholly new and unique. Others are acquisitions covered in soft, syrupy business-speak with phrases like "blending corporate synergies", "aligning strategic goals", and "...together, positioned for industry leadership." I'm still unsure which category this one falls into but it doesn't really mattter.
Because in either case, a merger always means re-organization. Re-organization means people and titles get jumbled around and usually quite a few names and titles are likely to get dropped from the chart.
We had some lay-offs in January of 2023 and that was rough on a lot of us. We had to say goodbye to some close friends - at least as co-workers. And the rest of the year was relatively quiet until the tail-end of November. And now this? I'm stunned into a mixed state of anxiety, excitement, fear and confusion. Feeling stuck in place, I crossed my fingers and hoped my place on the chart remained.
5. Remaining hopeful
I was very hopeful that the merger would produce a sort of super start-up and for all I know, it still will. We'd all have a lot of opportunities to learn new things from other people. Hell, a large number of people in the new company were based out of Oslo... Norway!!! I was actually excited to learn some new swear words and odd phrases in Norwegian. I was excited to learn some new web tricks from their web team.
I even got to meet the new CEO and CTO in person. They flew in to town for meetings (assuming with the board) and while they were here, the company hosted a happy hour. Both the new CEO and CTO seemed like good, friendly, grounded people. I still think they are. We had regular calls with the entire company - everyone in the U.S. and everyone in Norway and elsewhere. It was really cool. We were getting demos of the new (at least to us) apps and products. And we were giving demos of our apps and products. It was going so well, but I failed to see the writing on the wall through my rose-colored glasses.
6. Here's your sign
If you recall earlier, I mentioned that at one point my team was three devs, one designer, occasionally one tester and myself. One of my devs left shortly after the Covid shutdowns happened. Then one of my devs moved on to another job and we brought in a replacement. The replacement didn't work out after a while so they were let go. Leadership decided to close that slot on my team and we didn't get a replacement. It sucked, but it wasn't the end of the world and it was understandable. This left me with one dev, one designer, sometimes one tester and myself. In a brief period of time, my team shrunk from six to four. This should have been my first clue that something was afoot. But it was innocuous enough that it didn't register as threatening.
Clue number two should have been when my designer was part of the lay-offs in January 2023. Now it was one dev, one tester and myself. The team is getting awfully small now. And we are beginning to have difficulty keeping up with tasks.
For clue number three, sometime around October 2023, my remaining developer was being transitioned to working with another internal development team. He was to spend part of his time on web work and part of it on the new tasks. Here I am, pretty much back where I started. For the most part, the sole web developer on my team... and sometimes a tester to help.
The final clue should have been at the end of November 2023 when the tester was let go. Now I kinda feel like that frog being slowly boiled. Seemingly oblivious to the changing landscape even though my remaining team member, part-time as it was, and I would share the occasional chat or call expressing concern about the dwindling team. But there was a glimmer of hope. The web team, my web team, was being decommissioned and I was being transferred to join the other internal development team. Phew!
7. Duck! Here comes the other shoe!
Slow down that sigh of relief, knucklehead. It turns out that even though the company had managed to save a ton of money on hosting costs through a lot of very clever work and were working on consolidating and simplifying other aspects of the business operations to save even more, it wasn't going to be good enough, fast enough. Part of the major goals for the first quarter for this new company required major cost savings. The only other place where significant savings could be made was - you guessed it - payroll.
In the middle of February 2024, I was one of about a dozen or more people that found themselves on the receiving end of that dreaded Zoom call. I had been with the company for over 10 years and all of that ended in less than 30 minutes. I had known the HR person and the other individual on the call for many of those years so thankfully it was with people I already knew and respected. The call was pleasant, relatively informal and occasionally emotional. At the end of it, all of my work was beyond my reach and I walked away with two months severance.
Immediately after ending the call, I took a little time to sit outside, get some fresh air and reflect. I took calls with former co-workers and the typical post-layoff chats happened. I took a call from the former CTO who is now the chief something else. We reminisced about the early days of the company, talked about what's been happening with our respective families recently and even joked around a little. That call lasted for nearly two hours and it was such a powerful re-centering for me. Even still, that feeling from October 2013 came creeping back and it was as fresh as it was back then. I wrapped up the day with some grief, fear, self pity and whiskey.
8. Well, that really blows
"Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded. Happiness comes from solving problems. The keyword here is 'solving.' If you’re avoiding your problems or feel like you don’t have any problems, then you’re going to make yourself miserable."
Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
In October 2013, I was presented with specific problems. I didn't have a plan. I didn't start addressing the situation as quickly as I probably should have. I didn't have anything to fall back on. I had no solution. I was lucky that my best friend's employer needed someone with my experience. If it hadn't been for this, my problems could have gotten much, much worse. I was also lucky that I fell in love with the company, the work and the people. And I still do love them. My problems were upgraded to a new set of problems. Namely adjusting to a new work environment, new people, new group culture, etc. But I'm sure we can agree that these are much better problems to have versus the ones I started with.
This time I was a little better prepared. I had built up some savings, grown my investment and retirement accounts and had something of a backup plan. This time, I was presented with similar problems. But this time I had solutions.
The morning of the 16th came and I hit the ground running. I immediately canceled or paused any subscription service that wasn't critical. I filed for unemployment. I even looked into the food stamps program just in case things get dire. I scheduled a meeting with my financial advisor. And I did all that before lunch.
After lunch, I immediately updated my resume and LinkedIn profile. I checked out sites like Indeed and others to see what openings were available. I reached out to contacts with my resume and spread it far and wide. I even applied for to a few openings that day. By the time evening rolled around, I had managed to position myself in such a way that my severance should stretch from 2 months to about 4 or more before I need to consider tapping other accounts. I also set in motion a series of events that should help improve the situation in the long run. I'm setup much better to land on my feet again. I'm 10 years older now and not nearly as graceful at sticking the landing so I'll take all the assistance and preparation I can get.
By bedtime the 15th, my problems were:
- How am I going to pay my bills on 2 months severance?
- How am I going to take care of my family's health concerns?
- How do I re-enter the job market after 10 years of being off the block?
- What can I do to stretch the finances a little more?
- I'm not sure I can be too picky about what kind of job I take next. What if I don't have a lot of options available?
By the end of the 16th, my problem list became:
- How can I improve my job search and approaches to find work I can get behind?
- Now that I've set in motion things to help cushion the family, are there other things I can do to make it better?
- What do I do while I look for work and wait for callbacks?
As you can see, I'm left with a much better set of problems and in a considerably less stressful situation.
9. So much room for activities
So now that I have eliminated or prepared for most things over the next few months, I have a lot of time to wait for emails or calls from recruiters. I gotta do something productive in the meantime. Well, you're reading one of those productive projects right now.
I have lots of projects around the house that have been put off for one reason or another. I have some woodworking projects I'd like to do. There's my squad of 3D printers that have been collecting dust for a while. I'd really like to dedicate more time to my YouTube channel devoted to maker-space projects. I also have a video game in Godot that I've been twiddling with for a few months off and on. The thing is I can now do all of those things with my stress and anxiety levels on very low heat.
10. And what did we learn?
I guess the point I'm getting at is that even with my long job history prior to 2013, there were things I still didn't quite understand and wasn't prepared for. It took a sudden change in employment in 2013, being laid off 10 years later and all the time in between to teach me several lessons. Those are:
- 1. Even if you have a great job and are good at it, never expect to remain at that job tomorrow.
- Unless you are part of the executive team or on the board, then mergers, acquisitions and other major corporate shifts will almost always catch you by surprise and they will impact you. Some times for the better but far more likely and often for the worse.
- 2. Save as much of your paycheck as you can comfortably get away with in a few different accounts.
- Savings accounts only get you so far. Mix in a 401k, a Roth IRA, or some other options. Talk to a financial advisor about your options but definitely expect this kind of rainy day.
- 3. Always keep your resume up to date.
- The more current it is, the quicker it is to send it out. It also makes it easier to copy / paste consistent information into profile forms on job search sites.
- 4. Have a plan in place for "tightening the belt."
- Make a checklist of all your subscriptions and monthly expenses you can live without or downgrade. Keep this list up to date and use it regularly just to keep things lean. If the worst happens, make this list the first thing you do.
- 5. Develop hobbies that could be a source of income no matter how small that income might be.
- If you find yourself with a lot of time on your hands, turn to those hobbies and make them your "day" job while you wait. Esty shops and flea markets may not churn out a lot of money right away, but it could open doors to other opportunities.
- 6. Allow yourself time to feel, especially after a lay-off and especially if you've dedicated years and developed lasting friendships at the company.
- There is no doubt that being in this situation is emotionally painful and exhausting. Take time to process the emotions, but keep it as short as you can. The longer you "grieve", the longer it's going to take you to activate your plans and get back on your feet.
Me 10 years ago would have been scrambling like lunatic right now. But 10 years of learning, understanding what I did wrong or didn't do at all my entire professional and adult life up to 2013 and developing those practices above have lead me to this place where I can be unemployed and not "pulling my hair out" anxious.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have 3D printers to check on and a video game to finish.